5 ways to increase your libido

March 24, 2025

How do I get my libido back?

We understand that as we age, there can be many reasons why intimacy might not feel as exciting or natural as it once did. Hormonal changes, physical discomfort or simply life’s distractions can all play a part in low libido in women. But with a little self-care and attention, it is entirely possible to revive your libido and feel more connected to your body and partner. Here are five gentle ways to increase your libido, reawaken your sex drive and feel sexually empowered again.

1. Explore Erotic Literature

Start small, try introducing a little erotica into your life. We all remember the impact of 50 Shades of Grey… well here’s a whole genre of erotic fiction that caters to women’s fantasies and desires. Since 2020 sales of romance erotica books have more than doubled to 39 million books in 2023 [1] and with the thanks of e-readers like Kindles you can enjoy your romance book without feeling shy or judged.

Many women find reading these kinds of books stimulates the imagination and helps to reignite a sense of desire and passion. Reading erotic stories can be an easy way to enhance your libido, helping to build sexual tension, want of touch and boosting your sex drive.

Start with stories that appeal to your interests or fantasies. They don’t have to be explicit or graphic. Romantic or sensual stories can be just as effective as you get to know the character and imagine the romance unfolding.

2. Audiobooks

Perhaps you prefer audiobooks or find listening to erotica is what you would prefer. There’s a growing range of audiobooks and apps that specialize in audio that cater to women’s sensual and sexual needs and desires. Listen through your headphones in privacy and get along with your day-to-day tasks or use them as stimulation ahead of masturbation or sex with your partner.

3. Take Care of Yourself

Looking after your physical and mental well-being will greatly impact your libido. It can be simple things, like wearing a matching underwear set will make you feel more confident. Taking care of yourself by making sure you have regular exercise or movement in your daily routine, even gentle yoga or walking will help your body release endorphins, making you feel more energized and positive. Also having healthy habits, such as ensuring a varied diet, cutting back on smoking, drinking alcohol and sodas, as these can all have negative effects on your libido. Looking after yourself, taking time for self-care and prioritizing yourself is the best way to empower you to start thinking and feeling sexual.

4. Explore Sex Toys

Sex toys can be a fantastic way for women of any age to explore their own desires. Finding a toy that works for you can help you understand what you enjoy and get in touch with your body. It can also help with pelvic floor care if you suffer from vaginal dryness or vulval pain. This doesn’t have to mean something overtly sexual; it could be a vibrator, a dilator or kegel balls. Remember, it’s not just about using sex toys, but exploring what feels right for you. The more you connect with your body, the more you might find that desire increases.

5. Invest in your Relationship

Maintaining a connection with your partner is essential for nurturing intimacy. Take time to talk and take an interest in one another. Set aside time for date nights and try to stay connected even on busy days. Being open about your feelings, what feels good (or not) and your desires will help create a deeper bond and improve your sex drive. Don’t be shy to share fantasies no matter what they may be and be willing to experiment with your partner. Communication and understanding can go a long way in reigniting intimacy.

If you feel like your desire is there but pain or vaginal dryness is an issue, try a water-based personal lubricant or explore the benefits of Double Glide to help. Don’t forget there are other types of intimate activities that don’t have to involve penetration.

Increasing libido isn’t something that happens overnight, it takes time and some dedication to make you feel sexy or connected to your partner. Whether it’s experimenting more in the bedroom, tackling vaginal health issues you may have been trying to ignore or carving out more time for yourself, the key is finding what works for you and makes you feel relaxed and your best.